Old Year's Conclusions

Shamelessly borrowing from a friend's blog in which she reflected back on the last year, I thought I'd do the same.

It's been a tough, tough year. There have been blessings, for sure- Corryn's birth, Dave finishing residency, discovery and correction of Corryn's spinal cord defect with mostly smooth sailing, but most importantly, no lasting effects. There have been some difficulties- the furnace dying, Corryn's broken arm, the stress of the job search. The adjustment to 2 kids has been challenging for me, I will admit. Between the demands of small kids and Dave's work hours, it has often felt like there is simply not enough of me to go around.

Through it all, though, I have gained and ability and an immense appreciation for leaning on friends and family. Contrary to the American way, I learned how to ask for help- and in the process learned how much it adds to your life. It doesn't make you helpless or weak to ask for help- it makes you human and lessens your load. I've had loving ears on which to voice concerns, vent frustrations, cry, laugh- whatever was needed. We've been fed numerous times and had the house cleaned for us (thanks moms!!) There's simply no way we'd have made it through this year without the help of others.

I'm not making new year's resolutions. I'm just going to keep trying remember what I've learned from 2007. I'm learning to relax a bit with caring for 2 kids and in the process have been able to laugh with them more. Dave and I have leaned heavily on each other through it all and look forward to things settling some in the next year. We continue to lean on each other through the job search as we try to balance the wants, needs and dreams of all those involved with the available jobs.

At one time, I couldn't wait for this year to end. Now, as I think back on it, in many ways, I feel proud to have survived it, am thankful for the things I can take away from it and hope for a little less of a roller coaster next year.

It's all in how you define it

Dillon, when she woke up this morning: "Mom, can we have a better day today?"
W: "Did we have a bad day yesterday? I thought we had a good day!"
D: "But I want to have the best day ever!"
W: "Well, what would make it the best day ever?"
D: "It would need to have more ice cream and cookies than yesterday did."

So, it's not about how well you get along with everyone, it's about how much sugar you got to eat.

Stuff

We had our Secret Santa exchange at our homeschool group yesterday. The guidelines are that homemade or recycled is preferable, but if that isn't possible, then $5 or less. This makes for creative gifts. Dillon got a really cute framed watercolor of a pink elephant. She was really excited about it. We had to go to the grocery store after the meeting, so she wanted to carry it in with her so she could show it to people. I didn't realize that she wanted to show it to everyone in the grocery store. We had to have a conversation about it not far in the door as she very quickly was highly offended that no one was stopping to ask her about her picture. I had to explain that most people don't come to the grocery store to check out what someone else brought with them and that if we stop and talk to ever person there, we'll never get through the store. We agreed that it was fine to tell someone about it if they asked (and a few did...), but that we weren't going to stop people. It wasn't long before she got bored with the whole thing and put it down in the cart.

On a different note, the job search is still a big conundrum. There are some new developments with the job in Southern Illinois. Some things that were promised have now changed- including the offer of reimbursement for our trip there before Thanksgiving. And he wants us to make another trip for Dave to meet a few other people at the hospital. So, it has changed our thinking on that one a bit. Maybe it's a good thing that we didn't have a written contract. I'm trying so hard to take a "wait and see" approach on this, but it is hard.

And on one other note, twice today we have walked up on Corryn standing freely somewhere-as in, she didn't pull up on something and let go, she just stood up from the floor. Last night she was taking one step from one object to another. She's 11 months old today- sorry no picture today. I'll post one soon!

What's up with the job search?

Good question. We aren't sure. 4 weeks after verbally accepting the job in Southern Illinois, we still don't have a written contract to go with it. We aren't sure if this is a normal amount of time to wait or not. It feels like it's taking far too long, though. And there have been promises of calls with updates that haven't happened.

And as for the job in Indiana... it just stalled. Not completely, but definitely stalled. They thought they had an anesthesia medical director hired, then didn't, then were talking about just subcontracting anesthesia instead of the hospital actually hiring them. Since they couldn't decide, they decided to hold off on staff job offers. Now they have someone they want for medical director and hope to have a written contract with them by January (note the importance of that written contract part- and the "hope to" part). Then, they'll be connecting the new medical director with the candidates for staff positions. This could easily take another month or two. That would put us into March- 6 months after the initial interview. But, it is a new hospital, so delays are inevitable.

How do you put a frustrated growl into writing?

The Southern Illinois job is the current top choice, but this dragging out of the written contract part has brought up some concerns. So, we continue to wallow around in the waiting game, when mentally, we are so beyond ready for it to be settled.

OK then

The girls and I were driving to a friend's house for dinner Monday night, singing songs to try to keep Corryn from screaming in sheer hatred of the car seat. Dillon suggested Happy Birthday. She had gone to gymnastics that day and it was one of the girls' birthday. I asked, "What was her name?"

"I don't know."

"Did you ask her how old she was?"

And in being absolutely true to her nature, "No, I wasn't really interested."

Fair enough. Afterall, why bother if it isn't interesting?

File it under things that make no sense

While going through the security lines at the airport yesterday, Dillon did a little skip through the security thing. The TSA agent made a big deal of this, squating down with his arms outstretched to corral her all while saying "I can't touch you, but you have to go back through!!"

Then, Corryn and I were going though. I didn't take her soft leather shoes off, so the same agent made me go back, take off her shoes and come back through the security screener thing.

So, apparently, happy, skipping 4 year old and infants with soft leather shoes on are now on the list of high risk fliers.

C-R-A-Z-I-N-E-S-S

Oh my! Slow down, my life- you are going thisfastallthetime and I'm worn out!

Since my last post, it's been a whirlwind. Here are the highlights:

--Dave was gone for 5 days on job interviews, leaving the girls and I behind. It was so stressful traveling multiple places with 2 small children that we decided for him to go it alone. I confirmed just how much less stressful it was to be left behind with small children by getting my 3rd case of mastitis this year. Yep, that was much less stressful.

--I had my GI appointment to follow up on the wheat/gluten sensitivity that I developed while I was pregnant with Corryn. It hasn't gone away and had a lot of indications of being Celiac Disease, so I felt like it was important to see whether it was or not. I had an intestinal biopsy 2 days after the appointment, then got the wonderful news earlier this week that it is not Celiac Disease. It is a gluten sensitivity, but I don't have to be as diligent about avoiding it as I would if it were Celiac.

--Dave got a job offer from a hospital in Southern Illinois. It's a great opportunity with someone he really clicked with personality-wise.

--Unwilling to accept a job offer from a place I hadn't seen, we made plans to adjust our travel-home-for-the-holidays plans so we could spend a few days in Illinois. Having done both staying home alone with small kids AND traveling mulitple places with them in one month, I say it's a toss up as to which is more stressful.

--Accepted the job offer!!!!! It isn't a done deal- there are still contract negotiations, but it feels like that isn't going to be a problem. Dave has given them his "wants" and no one has balked yet.

--Colds for everyone, except Corryn. Teething for her. And sheer hatred for her car seat, though that's nothing new. It's just highlighted by how much more time she's had to spend in it.

--Traveled home to Arkansas for family Thanksgiving. Being dairy free for Corryn and wheat free for me ensured that I did not overeat at either of the dinners we went to yesterday. We are in the south and the reigning philosophy is that there is very little that can't be made better by the addition of butter/cream/ bacon grease, though care was taken by some of the cooks to make things without any butter. I appreciated it a great deal. It was wonderful to see and spend time with family, though a little overwhelming for the little ones. OK, a lot overwhelming- there were a lot of tears and consoling involved. Everyone wanted to hold Corryn and she wanted no part of it whatsoever.

There's definite good in there, though in the whirlwind it hasn't all sunk in yet.

Now for a few days of downtime. We're at my mom's. I get to shower uninterrupted. I get to sit and read a magazine. I get to take naps. How heavenly is that?!

Just a little dream...

I want a little house, far in the woods. One with a little garden with some flowers. And quiet. A little place where no one says my name, or needs me for anything. I get to sit for longer than 5 minutes. I get to read or knit, or better yet, have a complete uninterrupted thought. I only have to worry about when I eat. No one would cry or ask me questions. I'd get to take a shower when I wanted with no negotiations of "play with me for 2 minutes first." I'd get to sleep.

I wouldn't want to spend all my time there, it would undoubtedly get pretty lonely. But right now, after the day we've had, there is very little I wouldn't give to have a little time in that house in the woods.

9 months old

Late as usual- what can I say? There's a lot going on around here these days. My job ending soon, Dave interviewing for jobs, trying to arrange moonlighting opportunities, an upcoming GI appointment for me to follow up on the wheat problem I developed while pregnant. Of course, this on top of the demands of 2 young children. My head is often spinning trying to keep track of it all. Notice the lack of statement about housecleaning and laundry. Take from that what you will.

In any case- she's 9 months old! She spends a great deal of time standing, holding onto something, even cruising along things sometimes. I'm thinking of putting brick shoes on her to slow her seemingly breakneck race toward early walking.

She has 2 teeth now- so cute! She says "mamamama," she has big belly laughs, she claps and waves occasionally. She also has major stranger anxiety and cries when someone unfamiliar talks to her. She loves shiny, crinkly things, being carried in the sling and watching the trees move when the wind blows. She has discovered the new joy of splashing the water in the bathtub.

She weighs 17 lbs 10oz. I don't remember what Dillon weighed at this age, but just looking back at pictures, Corryn easily has a couple of pounds on her. I truly don't look forward to wrestling her into a snowsuit this winter, but it'll be fun to see how she reacts to the snow.

And for the bonus-

The view from the front window

How cool is this?

One of Dillon's friend's built this for her. It's made completely out of things found in our backyard.

Peaches promptly knocked down the first one, so he re-built it. I think it's pretty cool, as does she.

Milestones, full speed ahead

Less than 2 weeks after figuring out how to crawl, she has moved on to pulling up to a standing position. She did this even before figuring out sitting very well. Her favorite place to practice this skill is on the edge of the slippery bathtub as I am taking a shower. This, of course, concerns me a bit. Maybe giving her a rawhide to chew instead of keeping them from her would occupy her long enough for me to take a shower.

:)

A walk by the river

Question of the day

D: "If the planet fell, would it roll?"

From the Indy Children's Museum

This place was incredible! We were there from 11-5 and only saw about half of what was there. We hope for the chance to get to go back again.


The handblown glass structure from artist Dale Chihuly

The underside of the huge glass structure:

There was an amazing dinosaur display complete with several little play stations with terrain (caves & simulated water) and toy dinosaurs. They also had a dig site and a very well done scavenger hunt. Interestingly, they had a skull of a dinosaur with a brain tumor.

This is the closest that Dillon needs to be to driving for quite some time:

And as a great way to transition the kids out the door at closing time, they have a parade led by Rex the dinosaur down the spiral ramp straight to the front door. We had to give Dillon a lesson on safe flag waving after she accidently hit Corryn in the head. Corryn was understandably not amused by this.
Dillon has asked several times already to go back. We've promised her we will if we end up in Indiana. She's keeping her fingers crossed (OK, we are too, but as much for the museum as she is).

It's official: She's mobile!

She figured it out last night as she was trying to get to something she wanted.

What was it that finally prompted her to coordinate the separate erratic movements of the upper and lower halves of her body? Her beloved mom? A really interesting toy?

Nope-the dog's nasty rawhide.

No matter where I put them, she seems to have a radar for them and has managed to work her way toward them as she has been figuring out how to crawl. The dog doesn't help in that when I toss it somewhere else, so goes and gets it, then proudly brings it back to where it was-won't fetch anything else, mind you. She doesn't even care that Corryn plays with it. Corryn doens't care about the multitude of little pieces of flotsam and jetsom all over the carpet. For her, the rawhide is key.

So now you know how to motivate your teething baby to crawl. Forget teethers- throw a rawhide down on the floor!

8 months old

8 months old! I can't believe it! Isn't she a cutie? :)

Let's see...
She's trying really hard to crawl. She can get on her hands and knees & can even make a little forward progress with her legs. She can't quite coordinate this with the upper half yet though and ends up spinning around in a big circle a lot. She did manage several inches of going forward earlier, so I think she'll get it soon. She can sit independently for a few minutes, then topples over sideways.

She still loves to feel of hair, which means I have to keep the canopy thing on the backpack so that she doesn't jerk all the hair out of my head. The dog is now one of her favorite toys. Thank goodness she's so tolerant.

And she did beautifully flying- hardly a peep out of her the whole time we were on airplanes. Sleeping in several new places was not so much her idea of a good time, but we made it through.

A few pics from the Indy zoo

Home again

10 days, 2 interviews, 3 hotel rooms, 4 different airplanes. It's good to be home. Really, it was overall a good trip with some not so great parts to it. It's just difficult to all be in a hotel room together for that long, especially when one member is an infant that sleeps at various times throughout the day. Both jobs he interviewed for have potential; one is almost exactly what we were hoping for when daydreaming about the perfect situation. Flying home went far smoother than flying there and the hour plus drive home- always the hardest part after flying all day with young kids who don't sleep in the car- went pretty well.

I'm going through the pictures I took, but here's one the day we left- Dillon all twitterpated at the trip ahead. Note the oh-so-very-pink Barbie suitcase (nevermind the kid rarely plays with a Barbie...) and the sparkly shoes. In the suitcase? Various toys that never got a moment's attention plus a pair of sandals that never got worn. The providence of childhood- someone else worries about the fact that you'll need underwear for your trip while you focus on the fun stuff :)

As she sees it

The girls and I are being taken to lunch today by the spouse's group while Dave is on his interview. I am a bit nervous about this, not for my own sake, but for the sake of the highly impatient Dillon. Sitting in a restaurant is not one of her favorite activities and often acts accordingly. Therefore, we've had numerous conversations about expected behavior during this lunch.

Yesterday, we were pretending to talk to one another on the phone & I asked her what she'd be doing today. Her response was "I'm going to a fancy lunch where I won't be able to do anything fun."

At least she's mostly dressed her way- a yellow capri outfit, stripey yellow socks (though a different shade of yellow) and multi-colored sparkly shoes with dark brown bows.

It's good that we don't do these kind of lunches often- I'd never manage if I had to put this much energy into her attire everday. I'm more along the philosophy of mostly clean, mostly well- fitting- matching is far down the list.

First Tooth!

Corryn has her first tooth! I noticed it this morning as she was chewing on my finger. It has just broken through enough to feel & is just barely visible, but it is there nonetheless. It explains her grumpiness over the last couple of days. I thought it was just that she was out of sorts with our travels, but I guess not. I'll miss that toothless grin :)

We're still in Indiana- arrived in Lafayette today after having spent the last 2 days in downtown Indianapolis. We were supposed to have gone to Vinceinnes for a job interview during that time, but the position was unexpectedly filled. So, as a "consolation prize," they put us up in the Embassy Suites in downtown Indianapolis. We visited the zoo and children's museum and are exhausted. We can't complain, though, we had a good time. I'll post pictures when we get back home.

Lessons from the airports

--If you don't explicitly instruct your very bouncy 4 year old to stay with her father, she will unexpectedly follow her mother through the security thingie, then start wandering in restricted areas. This really raises the dander of TSA agents (because we all know what high security risks 4 year olds are...). This, in turn, will upset the 4 year old who will cling to her mother, crying inconsolably.

--While it seems altruistic for Fisher Price to set up a play area in the airport, it is actually a not so cleverly disguised marketing ploy. Were it altruism, they would not have encased the oh-so-very interesting (albeit far too noisy) toys in a plastic display case, annoying both the 4 year old ("I want to see what they feel like!!"), as well as her parents since they have to answer numerous times why the case is there.

--The airport is so very interesting when you're an airplane-enthralled child. It ranks faaaaaaaarrrrr higher than eating. This means that when it comes time cope with some less-than-fun aspect of flying (like your little sister needing the window seat because of the car seat), you are too hungry to cope with this well and crying loudly seems the only reasonable option. Your parents find this to be beyond frustrating, but are at a loss of how to make it different- short of physically stuffing food into your mouth.

--It is difficult for both Dave and Dillon to fit in the airplane bathroom.

-- Even with what felt like a distinctly un-fun experience for the adults, being in the airport and on the airplane were Dillon's favorite, favorite, favorite activities and she can't wait to do it again.

So, here we are in Indiana, outside of Indianapolis. It's a nice place & I'd forgotten how nice Midwesterners are. Dave interviewed most of the day yesterday and is doing so part of today. We're planning to go into Indy some this weekend to do some touristy things. As neither of us are big-city people anymore, I'm sure it'll be fun for a while, then all that concrete and cars will get old and we'll start wanting something a little less crowded.

Savoring the dying days of summer

A whole other country

One of the things Dave & I look forward to doing once medical training is all said and done is traveling. Last night, Dave asked me what my top 5 choices for countries to visit would be. Before I could answer, Dillon quickly stated "I want to visit Texas and then California!"

Well, Texas does market itself as being like a whole other country...

A sampling of today's questions

Mom? (This has been uttered no less often than an average of every 90 seconds)
Why? Said with equal frequency to "Mom?"
What happens if you let go of the steering wheel while you are driving?
Would you run into that guard rail over there?
Would you get hurt if you went down that hill right there?
What if cars were meant to drive without someone steering them?
Why don't the people that make cars just put a sensor on the bottom to tell it where to go?

Dave recently picked up a book- The Ultimate Book of Useless Information. Somewhere in it was a tidbit that says the average 4 year old asks 437 questions a day.

I'm pretty sure we hit that by noon.

On the positive note- with her kind of thinking, she'll be the one that invents the flying cars we all thought we'd be riding in by the year 2000. It's a matter of me surviving the machine gun fire nature of those questions until then.

7 months

I'm a little more on time this month! She turned 7 months old yesterday.

First, the update- her arm is fine. She didn't use it for about 24 hours, then started using it normally. We saw the pedi ortho surgeon on friday who deemed us to be fine. They didn't even do repeat x-rays since she was using her arm just fine. Thank goodness.

So, here we are at 7 months old. She's very contemplative and gives everyone these pensive looks. She will smile at people but not freely- it's more of an earned thing. She was laying on her tummy on the floor the other day and was staring at her hand. I thought she had something in it, but she was actually just intently watching how her shadow moved when she moved her hand.

She still likes pretty much only me, but will tolerate other people for short periods of time. Playing with hair is a big favorite & Dillon has been the victim of this more than once. She's only mildly interested in eating, but stick a large cup of water in front of her and she'll nearly nearly knock it out of your hand to get a drink. Still not sitting independently, but is starting to scoot around the room. We're trying to get back in the habit of keeping the gate at the top of the stairs closed.

We soon get to see how she does traveling as we head to Indiana next month. Let's all pray it goes well...

The terrible, horrible, no good afternoon

Corryn woke up from a nap while Dillon was helping me with laundry. I got her from the bedroom, laid her on the floor of the basement (it's finished & carpeted) and asked Dillon to keep her company while I finished up the last few minutes of laundry tasks. A minute or so later, Corryn started crying. It's not unusual since Dillon tends to be a little too much in her face when she first wakes up. I asked what happened, but Dillon wouldn't tell me. With both of them crying, (Dillon because Corryn scared her with her crying) we went upstairs to try to calm everyone. Fast forward about 40 minutes (and nearly non stop crying by one or the other of them) I finally get Dillon to tell me that she had forgotten to put Corryn's arm at her side when she tried to roll her from her tummy to her back.

So, after a couple of calls, we head to the pediatrician's clinic. Then to X-ray where the tech was initially less than gratious about having Dillon there. I, too, was guilty of being less than gratious as I snapped at her that I didn't plan on my infant getting injured today and didn't have a babysitter at my beck and call. She chilled out after that. Dave, as is always the case, was on call in the ICU- his first day in there and couldn't get away.

No obvious fracture on x-ray, but she won't use her left arm, so we are sent down to the ER to see the orthopedic surgery resident. They were kind enough to warn us that we would be waiting for "hours." Dave was able to join us briefly, I was able to reach my dear friend Juliana to come get Dillon & we were able to get some food.

Long story made shorter, 4 1/2 hours, 2 exams and 2 more x-rays later, the consensus was that no one was 100% sure what the injury was, but it wasn't limb-threatening, so we were sent home.

I just got a call from the resident we saw last night who consulted with the pediatric ortho surgeon. The feeling is that it is a fracture in the growth plate in her left upper arm. There is really nothing to be done except keep the arm pined at her side for a few days while her body creates new bone. No casting, no surgery. We follow up with the surgeon on friday.

Not sure how to approach this for the future with Dillon. Obviously, I need to not leave them alone together for a while. It was an accident, though I did spend the afternoon fighting being really angry at Dillon. I'm calmer now. Exhausted, but calmer, so hopefully I can be a bit more rational while I duct tape her hands together to keep her from hurting her sister again (I'm kidding of course...).

In the words of Dora the Explorer...

Lo hicimos! We did it! As of about 7:30 this morning, residency is complete. He is officially a board eligible anesthesiologist. Wow. It hasn't really sunk in yet.

When I started dating Dave I knew he wanted to go back to school. Not long after we were married, it was decided-together- that it was medical school he wanted to pursue and so shortly after our first anniversary, he started back to school for a Bachelor's degree. Fast forward 11 years, 2400 miles worth of moves, $250,000 in student loans, 2 kids and here we are. Did I know what I was in for? Nope, no idea. Would I do it again? Absolutely not. Do I regret it? No, though it has been difficult beyond anything I would've imagined. The number of nights that he has fallen asleep within 1/2 hour of getting home are more than I can count.

But on the other hand, I've been witness to someone who dreamed something and against pretty siginicant odds, acheived that dream. Afterall, this is the guy that flunked out of college at 21 with a 0.6 GPA. Who goes to medical school after that?! He has such a passion and a talent for medicine that it truly would've been a loss for him to not be where he is today. I'm glad to have been part of the ride, being the support system. It's much easier to say that now that we are finally, finally here.

There is still the fellowship, but the job search has already started. We are headed to Indiana for 3 job interviews next month. It gives us hope that there really is a reward for the nose to the grindstone existence we've lived for the last 11 years.

An anesthesiologist. Wow.

Lo hicimos!

A matter of hours...

He's on call tonight. By this time tomorrow, he'll be finished with residency.

Nope, we're not excited or anything.

:)

A matter of days...

6 of them until residency is over. Less than a week.

It's still not soon enough- we're both just so ready for it to be over.

For he who hung the moon...

Because as far as she's concerned, he did.

6 months

Again I'm late with the birthday post. Just life right now, I suppose.

6 months old! She is quite "talkative" now, getting so loud sometimes that we have to yell to be heard over her. It annoys Dillon greatly that she has competiton for the talking time now :) She's rolling over quite well, though still likes to roll to her belly then fuss about being there. She is getting better about rolling herself places as well as lifting herself higher up on her arms. She's nowhere near crawling- or really sitting for that matter. When put in a sitting position she lasts for 0.5 seconds before falling to one side.

Still dislikes the car seat but is kind enough to give me about 20 minutes before expressing this full force. Dillon being beside her in the back seat helps, though once Corryn starts crying, Dillon covers both ears and is no help whatsoever. I'll even go so far as to say she makes it worse since she continues to ask questions in spite of the fact she can't hear the answers.

I feel like a whole new world has opened up for me since she's finally old enough to go in the backpack. This makes dinner prep a great deal safer since she was really grabbing at things on the stove. As for solids- she's had a few samples of things here and there but nothing consistent. Mostly she looks at me like I've put poop in her mouth :) She does love to drink water out of a sippy cup- or any other cup for that matter.

Anyway, though I'd post this picture since it's her normal state when she's awake- one or both fingers in her mouth. Doesn't seem to be teething- just has tasty fingers apparently :)

A matter of weeks

3 to be exact. 21 days. That all Dave has left of his residency. It can't come soon enough. Even though there is still a one year fellowship to follow, it'll be different. Better. There will be months with much better hours and the ability to moonlight. We'll be job searching and preparing to move (though the moving part is definitely bittersweet for me).

After 11 years at this, these last days are dragging by. It would probably go faster if it wasn't such a huge event that we are so focused on, but it has been the focus of our lives for so long. I don't know that we could ignore the end looming near if we wanted to. But really, who wants to- we've worked so incredibly hard for this- it deserves to be anticipated!

A day off!

2 nights ago, I had gotten Corryn to sleep and Dillon had gotten "Baby Jo" (one of her dolls) asleep. Dillon came in the living room where I was and declared:

"Mom, you got Corryn to sleep and I got Baby Jo to sleep so that means that the moms get a day off!"

We'll just nevermind the fact that it was 8pm and the day was pretty much over. She gave me the day off anyway.

:)

Dillon's new love

Meet Pipsqueak. We've been doing a riding class for young kids in lieu of gymnastics this summer. It operates far more on exposure to riding and caring for horses than actual correctness of technique. There's 2 kids in the class, so they each get to work on groming Pip, then leading him to the riding arena, then making a couple of loops around the arena. Needless to say, Dillon loves it. We usually end up spending extra time at the barn saying hello to all the horses. This program only runs through the fall, so we'll go back to gymanstics in the fall, but are enjoying this in the meantime.

A memory from my childhood

Growing up, we had several wild blackberry bushes growing around the pond on our property. We would go pick enough to make a cobbler, plus enough to snack on as we fought off the stickers (and ticks and mosquitos...).

While on a walk this week, we discovered this bush with red and black berries. Dillon quickly gobbled up all the black ones, stopping only long enough to let me take this picture. It brought me back to my own childhood, eating wild berries freshly picked, outside in the sunshine. As it turns out, these are actually black raspberries rather than blackberries, but no matter.

It's long been my goal to give my children that element of my childhood- the simplicity of spending hours outside, learning and appreciating the gifts the earth. Dillon loves it- she takes a great deal of pride in identifying and eating the wild sorrel in our yard. We found a wild strawberry a couple of days ago that she quickly gobbled up. Since we found this bush, she asks every few hours throught the day if I think there are any more berries that are ripe and can we go check.

The Magic of Bubbles

This morning I took some store bought bubble solution, improved upon it a bit with some detergent, corn syrup and water, then we headed outside for some bubble blowing. It's amazing, the magic of bubbles. Dillon started jumping around to catch them, laughing. Corryn started laughing those great baby belly laughs at Dillon jumping around laughing. So, of course I was laughing at the two of them, which made them each laugh more. It was so simple, blowing bubbles, and such a great reminder of the joy of children.

Chocolate popcorn

Movie time is 4:00 at our house. This is one of our favorite movie time snacks as of late- chocolate popcorn. I pop the popcorn in a big pot on the stove, then pour the chocolate sauce over the top. We eat it with big spoons since it pretty sticky. Corryn almost managed to make it her first food a couple of days ago when she rather adeptly reached out, grabbed a handful and had it to her mouth faster than I could intervene. She knew she needed to get it to her mouth, but wasn't sure what to do from there, giving me time to act before it made actually into her mouth. :)

Anyway, chocolate popcorn:
1/2 -2/3 cup unpopped popcorn

Sauce:
Approx 1/3 c Blackstrap molassess
Some margarine (no butter due to the Corryn's dairy issues)
Cocoa powder

Heat together- I do it in the microwave for speed.

It's really good without being overly sweet plus has iron, calcium and potassium from the molassess, which alleviates some of the guilt :)

5 months old

So I'm a little late posting this. Just been feeling a little stretched thin lately, so I'm doing my best.

Here she is at 5 months. She's very sweet and smiley, though either has a bit of a cold right now or is teething since she's been a real grumpy bear today complete with runny nose and drool.

She's figured out how to roll herself from back to stomach and can occasionally go back to her back, but mostly she prefers to roll to her stomach then lay there and fuss because she doesn't like being on her belly :) She's really watching me when I eat and even tries to grab for things, though I'd still like to hold off on solids a bit longer.

She still hates the car seat but adores her big sister. Dillon can get a laugh out of her faster than anyone can. Of course, Dillon loves this!

The moving trees are no longer entertaining her, so that's it for now.

Mastitis again

Yep, again. No surprise with how stressful life has been lately. Still, it's no fun feeling like you've been hit by a truck, especially when your house is 80 degrees and the thought of using a hot pack just makes you feel worse.

This too shall pass...this too shall pass...

To my mom

You are one of the most generous people I know. I cannot possibly express my appreciation enough for your presence over the last week and a half. I don't know how we would've done it without you. You made a stressful time doable and we are deeply grateful.

Home again

We're home again. Watchful waiting on the lump at her incision, but we can do that at home. Thankfully, there are no signs of infection. I'm tired-emotionally drained, as well as semi-sleepless. The pedi floor is a lot noisier than the pedi ICU was, so a nap is in order today.

Back in the hospital

The area with the fluid increased & became painful, so we're back in the hospital. She's feeling pretty good- no fevers, no signs of infection by lab work. We'll get to see the surgeon who operated on her (whom I love!)and they may do an MRI tomorrow.

How very not fun.

A small complication

We had to make a trip to the ER last night when my mom noticed a small lump at the top of Corryn's incision. So, instead of Dave spending the evening attending the graduation dinner put on by his residency program (even though he still has 6 weeks of residency left...), we spent it in the ER. She has a small cerebral spinal fluid leak- the most common complication after this surgery. So, it's back to having to be horizontal to let gravity help us in keeping it from leaking further. We're to follow up with the surgeon on Monday. Thankfully she didn't have to be sedated again for another MRI, since all the people we most trusted to do this were at the graduation dinner. But, if it continues to leak, she'll have to go back to surgery to fix the leak.

Ugh.

Home

Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhh....

What a relief- we're home! All is well. With the exception of the incredibly bland food, I have nothing but praise for our whole experiece, given the fact it was surgery on my infant. The pre-op staff was wonderful- a nurses's aide got Corryn to sleep by walking her around before her surgery, so she went back to the OR asleep. That was such a blessing for me. We had lots of visitors which really helped pass the time quickly. We got several pages during the surgery with "things are going well" kinds of updates. The ICU staff was great- her assessment one morning was notable for being "Cute, cute, cute!"

And above all else Corryn is doing great. It feels like a weight has been lifted off of all of us.

A quick update

Just wanted to post a quick update- surgery went beautifully, she's been nursing great since the surgery, only required a couple of doses of IV pain meds, now doing well with just tylenol & ibuprofen. IV's are out, catheter is out, she looks just wonderful- smiling and laughing! We'll still be here through tomorrow since she's still got to stay horizontal through then, but the plan is to go home tomorrow. Dillon had some trouble being away from me overnight, but seems to be OK now.

Thanks to all for thoughts and prayers- it is such a relief to be mostly through this!

On the eve of her surgery...

Just a picture.

Isn't she cute?

She actually let me take her picture today!

Warm day today. Dillon went to a friend's house for a while while I took Corryn with me to a court appearance I had to make for a friend. Another friend took care of Corryn there at the courthouse while I testified, but poor baby ended up with 3 nasty black fly bites, including one on her eyelid. Stupid black flies.

Wednesday (the surgery day) looms ever closer....

Surgery looms

Our pre-op appointment is today with the neurosurgeon. I can't be in denial today.

I like denial better than thinking about surgery on my infant.

It's all about perspective

Yesterday was one of those days that tests your sanity as a parent. You know the ones in which you're sure that you're raising a kid you're that you're going to end up bailing out of jail one day- the ones in which flashbacks to the days that you only had a high maintainence dog to take care of make you smile nostagically. Everything was a test. Sticking muddy shoes on our legs repeatedly, wearing clothes entirely too warm for the day (didn't actually pick that battle), waving her soaking wet sleeves around so that water splashed all over me and her finally asleep sister. Wailing dramatically for every perceived injustice ("that chair made me fall out of it!!!""), then wailing more when no one really bought into the drama.

Then I check my email this morning to find an email from a friend directing me to this blog entry in which a mother is writing a letter to her daughter on her 18th birthday. That daughter sounds so very much like Dillon- minus the climibing to the top of the fridge to eat bananas part. It was a wonderful reminder that, as she makes the point, the qualities of thinking for herself and following her own path are not qualities that one develops suddenly as an adult- they are cultivated from childhood. Granted, they are much less polished in childhood, but this is where they start. I see passion and determination in Dillon. I see a person that is not going to do things just because other people are doing them- or even because someone else (including her parents) thinks she should. I see that quality of being able to think for herself that we as her parents want so much for her to have.

I'll admit, sometimes I do wish for that "good" kid- the one that obeys when I say to stop doing something that's annoying. Or worse yet, just not socially acceptable, but not otherwise harmful in any way. I sometimes wish she wasn't so persistent as to fight me every night for 3 years to brush her teeth. And sometimes I really, really do wish for an off button for all those questions. But mostly, when I can look at things outside of the moment, I can give those qualities some perspective, compare them to those same qualities she shares with her dad (proof they can be polished...) and understand that they will serve her well in life. She will be someone that can chose an unconventional path- much like her father (med school at 30 after flunking out of college at 21?!!!) and make it work for her.

I just pray I survive it.

A note to those in the grocery store

First of all, I apologize for my child's recent grocery store meltdowns. She's 4 and trying to learn to navigate the world & sometimes doesn't do it as well as other times. She's an absolutely wonderful child, I promise. And a little thank you to those that have given me the sympathetic looks that say "I've been there, it's OK."

Now, second of all, for those that are a little less attuned to the intricacies of body language, please understand that when a 4 year old is starting to melt down & her mother is physically down on her level in order to try to thwart said meltdown, that is NOT THE TIME to stop and ask her a bunch of questions about the baby in the sling. Yes, she is adorable, and under normal circumstances I enjoy being told so. But when a small child is starting to lose it, it's fairly obvious- especially when you've been gawking at us for the last several minutes, as I've seen the 2 people doing that have done this to me. Perhaps your parenting is very different than mine and you would handle the situation differently, but right then is not the time to try to sway me to your way of thinking. So, please don't be offended when I tell you as politely as I can muster at that point that I really need to give my attention to my child. I don't multitask very well and being as I signed on to the responsibilty to raise her to be a good citizen of the world, she's my priority.

Thank you for your understanding.

Love is...

a stack of library books.

I vividly remember visiting the public library when I was a kid. I loved the quiet, the reverence for the books, the places the books took me. I remember loving to visit the library in school. Then college, though somehow all the required reading stole some of the joy of books. I think it was a solid year before I read anything other than magazines and those dreadful hospital policy & procedure manuals for my first nursing job.

But slowly, the love of books re-emerged. I started visiting the public library again, just wandering the aisles at first, then finally settling on a book. I sometimes had to limit myself- I read obsessively and will neglect other things in my life for the sake of finishing a well-written book. They have entertained me, moved me to tears, challenged my thinking and shaped who I am.

Then I had a child. And we read books. And she grew old enough to have opinions about books, so we started visiting our local library. Sometimes we go in with a topic for our book search, sometimes we go and simply pull interesting ones off the shelves. We've developed a relationship with the librarians who will sometimes suggest books because they think we'll enjoy them. They're usually correct. When Dillon commented once that girls couldn't be knights ( after seeing a picture of a girl in armour), the children's librarians had a list of "girl power" books to counter that assertation.

One of the first ways we dealt with getting Dillon ready for Corryn's surgery was to visit the library and ask for books about kids- specifically siblings- having to be in the hospital. It's the same way we helped prepare her for having a sibling. It works beautifully.

Thomas Jefferson was once quoted as saying, "I cannot live without books."

I understand that sentiment completely.

Happy Love Thursday- the last official one as it turns out.

Happy Birthday Dave!

41 years today! He requested a yellow cake with chocolate icing, which Dillon & I will be making for him in a few minutes. We even picked out star candles to put on top, though not 41 of them :)

On being 4 months old

Dillon asked the other night, "How come her cheeks just keep getting squishier and squishier?" Good ol' momma milk, honey :)

She turned 4 months old on Sunday. I have to admit that I like the 3 month plus stages better than the newborn. Not that I don't like the newborn part, but they are just sturdier and more interactive once they hit 3 months. She's starting to figure out rolling, which she kept doing as I was trying to get this picture yesterday. She's making all these great baby sounds. She's a pretty serious baby & will only give reserved smiles to strangers, though there are huge smiles and occasional laughter for Dave, Dillon and me. She loves watching Dillon. She's finally getting better with getting things to her mouth & doesn't hit herself in the face quite so much.

I think we finally figured out the food issues- cow milk, eggs and tree nuts. Between that and the wheat(actually probably gluten) intolerance I developed while pregnant, I have to be pretty creative about what I eat. But I know that in all likelihood her sensitivties are temporary & eating creatively isn't a bad thing. I've become a pretty good cook by having to work around these sensitivites (as well as the ones Dillon had at this same point). But that's a post for another day.

Happy 4 month birthday my little one!

Love is...

a little late this week! I just didn't have time yesterday to post.

Anyway- love is holding your sister's hand-

One of my favorite moments as of late was one day Corryn was on the floor and Dillon was sitting on her knees beside her, listening intently to a story being read. Corryn reached up in that erratic way she still does at 3 months old to grab Dillon's finger, but couldn't quite reach. Without ever looking down at her, Dillon put her hand down and a little closer to Corryn so she could grab hold. They stayed thay way through the end of the story.

We got lots of smiles in the grocery store yesterday as we did our shopping with Corryn in the sling and Dillon holding her hand. Made shopping a bit slower, but it didn't matter. I love that, at least for now, they both enjoy holding each other's hands. I pray that they always remember the importance of doing so.

So, Happy Love Thursday on friday! :)

Happy Mother's Day!

I learned this morning that the origins of Mother's Day had more to do with mothers advocating for peace- not wanting to lose their sons to war- than it had to do with gifts for mothers. In honor of this original purpose- and continued war in our world, there was a group that gathered locally with a call to stand for peace. It wasn't a demonstration of any sorts- just a group of people that gathered in a public place for 5 minutes of silence. The intention of the silence was to reflect on ways that we, in our own lives, can both demonstrate and perpetuate peace. There was a excerpt from a book regarding peace that was printed on handouts that were given.

I was a little concerned about Dillon being quiet for the 5 minutes, because, well, silence is just not one of her strong points. I explained to her that everyone was going to be quiet for a few minutes and that she would need to be as well. She chose to skip and dance around the fountain that everyone was gathered around, occasionally stopping to look at something on the ground or dip her hands into the fountain. She remained quiet for the entire time.

One of the lines in the excerpt was "We are standing for...A world in which they don't live in fear of violence-in their home, in their neighborhood, in their school or in their world." After it was over, a couple of the women there commented to me how wonderful it was to have Dillon there demonstrating the very reason we were all there publicly trying to figure out ways to make the world more peaceful. How fortunate for us to be able to stand up in a public place to commit to peace while my child plays happily, oblivious to the realities of war. I am too, really, but I know it exists.

She asked me what the time at the park was all about this morning. I explained that some people think that fighting is a better way to solve problems than using words and that we were trying to find ways too change that. She was satisfied with this explanation. But it helped remind me that probably the best way to perpetuate peace is to raise my children peacefully- teaching them that words are powerful tools for solving problems, much more so than physical actions. Of course, that is difficult to remember in the midst of a conflict between us- especially when I'm bigger and can physically move them somewhere, but today served as a reminder to me of how very important that is to commit to raising them peacefully.

A special treat for me

D: "Momma, as a special treat for you on Saturday, you can cook dinner! And you can do it as soon as I get up!"

Nevermind that I cook dinner most nights. I guess somehow it will be an honor to do so tomorrow.

Guess what!

Dillon went with Dave to run some errands. Corryn is asleep in the sling. I get to take a nap!!!

While she sleeps on my shoulder

I'll post a recent picture. Excuse the spit-up- she's a little like a faucet in need of a washer change- there's a continuous drip there!

And- her surgery is scheduled for June 13th. I'm coping a little better now. While I'm still having a hard time with the whole thing, I've reached a point that I am thankful that this was discovered before any problems occurred. Sigh. I'll still be glad when it's behind us.

Quote of the day

"Daddy, when I grow up I want to be a farmer. And I want to grow vegetables. And I want to have dogs and cats and horses and cows and sheep and lions and tigers and bears and giraffes all in a fence."

He didn't have the heart to tell her that some of her animals may not be as appreciative of her arrangement as others.

Love is...

a happy marriage.

Within a month of dating my husband, I knew I would marry him. Twelve years ago this coming Sunday, I did just that, on a very stormy day in a beautiful candlelit ceremony. Our vows were very traditional- for better for worse, in sickness and in health, 'till death do us part.

Shortly after our first anniversary, he went back to school in pursuit of admission to medical school & all that that entails. We committed to it together. At varying times it's been good, it's been interesting, and it's been dowright awful- but never has it been boring. During his internship year, there were times we were held together by a thread, but there was never a doubt it was there. As we look to a future in which the fruits of our many years of labor at this process are soon to pay off, we go together.

On our honeymoon, a waiter guessed we were newly married by our telltale shiny rings. It's so interesting looking at our rings now. Cleaned up, they're still shiny, but show the wear and tear of life- life shared with one you love.

Happy Love Thursday!

That blessed silence

There are certain red flags Dillon gives when she's in need of a nap. They were all there today, so I decided to take a little drive this afternoon. I got Corryn asleep and even transferred her to the car seat without waking her. I told Dillon we were going to have a quiet drive and listen to some music.

D: Mom, as soon as you tell me it's time to be quiet, I will.
W: It's time to be quiet
D: Already it's time to be quiet?
W: Yes, already
D: OK, I'll be really quiet
W: silence
D: Mom? Why do those clouds up there look like steam?
W: Remember quiet time?
D: Oh yeah, I'm going to be quiet
W: OK good
D: Why'd you say "OK good"?
W: Quiet time Dillon
D: I don't think I can be quiet for very long
W: (thinking REALLY???!!!) Well, let's try.
D: OK, I'll try to be quiet.

And then it happened. She fell asleep. Corryn stayed asleep.

Blessed silence.

Well, except for the so very soothing sounds of Norah Jones. It lasted for 30 whole minutes before Corryn woke up and started to fuss. I stopped, hoping to get to her before she woke Dillon, but no luck.

But it's ok, because it was 30 whole minutes of blessed silence.

Love is...

your father's willingness, without question, to volunteer to be on call at the hospital & up most of 40 straight hours so he could be present for your MRI and susequent neurosurgery appointment. It is also knowing to wait to ask your mother if she was OK after finding out you need spinal surgery because he knew she wasn't, but didn't want to be asked that in public where she'd start crying.

While not entirely happy for Love Thursday, I'm holding onto the positives.

And the comical-

Love is also letting your 4 year owner do this to you:

:)

A tethered cord

Corryn was born with a small sacral dimple. It was just suspicious enough to warrant further investigation, which is what we spent the morning doing. She had an MRI, then we had an appointment with the neurosurgeon to find out the results. In spite of our hopes that it was completely benign, it isn't. It isn't a major problem by any means, but it always feels major when it's your child. A part of the bottom of her spinal cord is attached to her tailbone in such a way that as she gets older it will put tension on the spinal cord and very potentially cause neurological problems. It could affect things like walking, and bowel and bladder control. The solution is to go in and surgically clip the tether.

Of course, there's the chance that it would cause no problems at all. But, if we wait and see and problems do occur, very often that function that was affected does not return, even with surgical un-tethering of the cord.

It's a fairly minor procedure in neurosurgical terms, but it's still neurosurgery. It isn't scheduled yet- we're working out some details, but the recommendation is that it's done before she starts crawling to make recovery easier. She has to stay more or less horizontal- not in a bed, horizontal is some way and it's easier before they gain the ability to pull up on things.

Dave & I are feeling as anyone would feel when their infant is facing surgery- worried, scared, stressed. Dillon's trying to figure it out, too as best a 4 year old can.

Love is...

the things that get you through difficult times.

The last few months have been challenging, not for any one single thing, but several. Certainly the transition to two kids alone can be hard, but I feel like we're getting there. It's been unexpectedly having to replace the furnace & having to borrow the money to do so. It's been what seems like one illness after another at our house- and a surgery on top of it. Dave had his nose fixed after living with it being virtually useless for years. It's a good thing, but it's still a recovery time. Corryn has some food sensitivies that I have yet to completely identify, so we have these days that she just screams inconsolably. It's been the never ending winter- and accompanying grayness- this year.

The list can go on, but who really wants to. The image represents what has gotten me through this. The flowers are from my mom who sent them under the guise of Easter, but I think it was most just because she loves me and wanted to cheer me up. It worked. They were beautiful!

Tea has been a mainstay for me since Corryn's birth. The warmth on these endless cold days, the fact I have to slow down to sip it- the forced "mommy break." Few days have passed without at least a couple of cups of tea.

Dave gave me the blue teapot years ago. Although I've long been a tea drinker, I used it mostly for decoration until just the last few years, I never really knew what to do with it, until I discovered just how wonderful it can be to have a pot of tea sitting there ready. Since then, I've used in regularly. In that time, I've had the joy of discovering that tea is so much more than you can buy at the grocery store. My friend Karen is so generous in sharing her incredible stash of teas, that I've gotten to taste and enjoy many kinds- along with the benefit of sharing it with a friend.

On Monday evening, a package arrived from Adagio teas, sent by Karen. It is was a brewing pot, 5 different kinds of teas and a small book with great photos explaining all about tea- greens, blacks, oolongs, white. I immediately tried it out and enjoyed a cup of herbal rooibos from Africa. Such a wonderful gift!

Last, it's the photos. I've also long enjoyed photography, but since getting the digital Nikon SLR back in the fall, it's really taken off for me. I've gotten the chance to take some maternity pictures of another friend, Cynthia- so much fun! So, I thought it perfect to pull it all together with this photo of some of the remaining flowers & the tea.

It's easy to lose yourself in the drudgery of life, especially when it all comes at you at once. I'm thankful to have found things to pull me through these times.

Happy Love Thursday!

Good insight

We were watching a video where someone was trying to explain something.

D: "Momma- I don't think I'd like school. They do too much talking. I like gymnastics because we get to jump and do things."

I don't know if we've explained school this way or if she has just picked up this from friends that go to preschool. In either case, she's right, she'd have trouble with the sitting still and listening. She clearly doesn't have trouble learning, just sitting still to do so.

12 weeks old

Since I've been busy perseverating about the weather lately, I thought a picture of Corryn would be more pleasant :)

Please contribute to my therapy fund...

...A POTENTIAL MAJOR COASTAL STORM MAY AFFECT THE ENTIRE AREA SUNDAY THROUGH EARLY NEXT WEEK...

LATEST INDICATIONS ARE SHOWING A GROWING POTENTIAL FOR A MAJOR NOREASTER TO DEVELOP AND INTENSIFY ALONG OR OFF THE MID ATLANTIC COAST ON SUNDAY AND THEN STALL OFF THE SOUTHERN NEW ENGLAND COAST EARLY NEXT WEEK.

IF THIS OCCURS THE POTENTIAL FOR COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF SNOW OR RAIN EXIST. VERY STRONG WINDS WOULD ALSO ACCOMPANY THIS STORM.

I've got to stop looking at weather forecasts.

Seriously- enough already

PRECIPITATION WILL BEGIN TO FALL ACROSS THE AREA THURSDAY MORNING AND CONTINUE THROUGH THE AFTERNOON... BEFORE TAPERING OFF IN THE EVENING. AT THIS TIME...THERE APPEARS TO BE ENOUGH MOISTURE AND COLD ENOUGH TEMPERATURES TO PRODUCE 6 TO 10 INCHES OF SNOW THURSDAY

I've already been crying about this one.

She's being still!

Love is...

Living in a place where madness such as this occurs in April so that your husband can pursue his dream of becoming a doctor.

Seriously, I love living here, but snowfall in April? Well, not so much. 80 and sunny is more to my liking. But he is a very talented physician unlike most any other you meet. Maybe because he lived a little outside of the academic life before med school, maybe just because that's who he is. In any case, it's been quite ride pursuing this dream of his and I've been happy- overall- to join him on it.

Happy Love Thursday!

Noooooooooooo!!!!

LOOK FOR OCCASIONAL SNOW AND RAIN DURING THE DAY TODAY...WITH ACCUMULATIONS GENERALLY LESS THAN 2 INCHES. THE MIX WILL CHANGE TO SNOW THIS EVENING...AND MAY FALL HEAVILY AT TIMES. BY THE TIME THE SNOW TAPERS TO RAIN AND SNOW SHOWERS THURSDAY MORNING...EXPECT A STORM TOTAL SNOWFALL OF 4 TO 8 INCHES...WITH THE HIGHEST AMOUNTS IN THE HIGHER TERRAIN.

I think I'm going to cry.

Dillon's theory

The other day, I had put lanolin on a dry spot on Corryn's forehead right before we left to go somewhere. Dillon asked me what it was & I told her it was lanolin. Corryn started fussing while we were in the car, so I said "Oh, what's wrong Corryn?"
Dillon said "Maybe she doesn't like having a greasy forehead!"

Now I know why Corryn fusses in the car seat. It isn't the straps or the not being held. It's the lanolin.

Love is...

letting your 4 year old play with the remote control on your fancy-schmancy camera that US Airways bought you after losing your luggage with your old camera in it...



















...and letting her hold her baby sister all by herself because she's really shown she can be gentle and careful with her.




Happy Love Thursday!

Gotta get it out so I can move on

Sunday, I had someone tell me that I looked great, really well-rested. Nice compliment, I thought. I just said that I felt fairly well rested since it was pretty easy to just go right back to sleep after nursing in bed. She proceeded to tell me how she was always too scared to put the baby in bed with her and how she always made herself stay awake to put him back in the basinet at night. OK, personal choice, I completely respect that. Then she goes on to tell me some story about how there was a case recently of a twin "that died from SIDS from co-sleeping." I simply said "Babies die of SIDS in cribs too" and walked away.

There are many problems with what she said. First and foremost, the diagnosis of SIDS is made when there is no other obvious cause of death. If the baby died of being overlain in bed with an adult, then it is not SIDS. So, don't blame SIDS on co-sleeping. There are studies out there that show that a baby is less likely to die of SIDS when co-sleeping, but with some searching, you can almost always find some study to validate what you believe. Second, it was just a completely inappropriate comment to make to someone with a new baby. If you don't agree with my parenting, fine, it's your prerogative. But, don't feed me a scare tactic as why your choice is better than mine.

Co-sleeping is an individual choice, I believe. Some people and some babies really do sleep better in separate spaces. I don't, nor do my children. I laid there and worried with Dillon because we were in separate spaces initially. I don't have to worry if Corryn is breathing- I can feel that she is. It isn't insurance against SIDS any more than a crib is. But it's the choice that we feel is best for our family and I feel like that should be respected just as I respect her choice- and anyone's choice- to do it differently.

I've been stewing over this ever since then and I really need to stop. This person is well-educated. She has a PhD in accounting. I've known her for a few years now and have never enjoyed her company, yet she almost seems to seek me out to talk to me. She's made inappropriate comments to me before- like telling me far too much about her marriage when I had only known her a few weeks. I feel like I probably handled it the best way possible, but it has still just crawled under my skin.

Maybe I can move on now.

2 months old!

Well, yesterday she was. It was a grumpy day for her, so I didn't get a chance to post this. She was only happy if I was moving, making it hard to type anything on the computer.

Anyway, she's 2 months old! She's getting chubbier by the minute :) She's smiling like crazy (well, except yesterday), cooing and making all sorts of cute baby sounds. She looks like she's starting to try to reach for things, but most of the time ends up hitting herself in the head. She loves to watch Dillon and loves to be talked to- and carried around in the sling or front carrier. She'll only sleep if there's a warm body beside her, so the picture was taken in the 5 minutes between being put down and her realizing that the warm body was missing. It's one of those things that can be hard at the time (like when you want to take a shower longer than 5 minutes!) but that's mostly fine. I know I'll look back on it nostagically one day. Yeah for slings is all I can say to that.

We're all still adjusting and sometimes just surviving. Mastitis over the weekend and residency demands are not making the adjustment easier, but it's a joy to have had her join our lives. Dillon is enjoying being a big sister now, making it a frequent theme in her play with her toys.

I know, it all goes fast. I'm trying to remember that and focus on the better parts of life right now. It's hard sometimes, though, I have to say.

When it rains...

it pours. At least it seems to around here.

Friday evening I had a horrible headache. Saturday morning I woke up with a painful spot in my right breast and still had the headache and as an added bonus, fever. Not bad, 99.5, but just enough to feel miserable. This plagued me the whole weekend with my fever getting as high as 101.1. I so don't want antibiotics, given my ability to grow yeast. Dillon also woke up with a runny nose saturday morning- her third time since Corryn was born.

The fever is gone this morning, but I still hurt. As a second added bonus, I woke up to Dillon throwing up this morning. She laying on the couch now, enjoying the very rare treat of getting to watch TV and seems to be feeling a bit better.

Fortunately, Dave called in today to be able to take care of us. Unfortunately, he'll have to hear from his residency program director about how the residency program should be his top priority, not his family- and he'll have to extend a day at the end. I'll save my opinion about the paternalistic, demeaning nature of medical training for another day. I'll just express how thankful I am for a husband that does not bow to the demand of putting the residency first and is willing to put up with the flak he'll have to endure for being available to his family.

Nicknames

"Momma-On Corryn, I think we should call this cheek "Chubba" and this cheek "Wubba"

Seems fitting :)