Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Gotta get it out so I can move on

Sunday, I had someone tell me that I looked great, really well-rested. Nice compliment, I thought. I just said that I felt fairly well rested since it was pretty easy to just go right back to sleep after nursing in bed. She proceeded to tell me how she was always too scared to put the baby in bed with her and how she always made herself stay awake to put him back in the basinet at night. OK, personal choice, I completely respect that. Then she goes on to tell me some story about how there was a case recently of a twin "that died from SIDS from co-sleeping." I simply said "Babies die of SIDS in cribs too" and walked away.

There are many problems with what she said. First and foremost, the diagnosis of SIDS is made when there is no other obvious cause of death. If the baby died of being overlain in bed with an adult, then it is not SIDS. So, don't blame SIDS on co-sleeping. There are studies out there that show that a baby is less likely to die of SIDS when co-sleeping, but with some searching, you can almost always find some study to validate what you believe. Second, it was just a completely inappropriate comment to make to someone with a new baby. If you don't agree with my parenting, fine, it's your prerogative. But, don't feed me a scare tactic as why your choice is better than mine.

Co-sleeping is an individual choice, I believe. Some people and some babies really do sleep better in separate spaces. I don't, nor do my children. I laid there and worried with Dillon because we were in separate spaces initially. I don't have to worry if Corryn is breathing- I can feel that she is. It isn't insurance against SIDS any more than a crib is. But it's the choice that we feel is best for our family and I feel like that should be respected just as I respect her choice- and anyone's choice- to do it differently.

I've been stewing over this ever since then and I really need to stop. This person is well-educated. She has a PhD in accounting. I've known her for a few years now and have never enjoyed her company, yet she almost seems to seek me out to talk to me. She's made inappropriate comments to me before- like telling me far too much about her marriage when I had only known her a few weeks. I feel like I probably handled it the best way possible, but it has still just crawled under my skin.

Maybe I can move on now.


O_Scientist said...


Nod, smile, and do your own thing.


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