Did we make the right decision to come here? It reflects my silence as of late, but now it's keeping me up at night, so I need to quit keeping it in.
In some ways, Dave's job is great- the opportunity to build an ICU to mimic the cutting edge manner in which he trained. Except that there are many here that liked it just fine that way it was thankyouverymuch. There's a feeling of there being not nearly enough support there. We estimated yesterday that he's working 100-120 hours per week. That's 2 1/2-3 full time jobs. I miss my husband. My kids miss their dad and are just grafted to him when he's home. Unfortunately, some of his admin work is done from home, so there's a necessary, but dissappointing pushing away of the kids in the name of getting more work done.
It is not how we wanted it be at this point.
There's an upcoming meeting with bosses to discuss these issues. Something has to improve or this is not a viable situation.
Many questions are being raised. We all miss NH so much. Is it because it is still freshest in our memory? Dillon tells us she'd happily move back there- without even being asked. Did we make a mistake leaving there? Admittedly, I don't love winter and there was a lot of it there. Was there something I could've done differently to make the winters more manageable for myself? Am I just thinking of it idyllically since we left at my favorite time of year?
Maybe we haven't given this a fair chance. While our house is fine, it's just outside a few industrial areas, meaning that we frequently drive through those areas. It's a hard change to go from looking at trees all the time to looking at a corn processing plant. Maybe if we didn't live in this particular area- afterall, the entire city isn't industrial & parts of it are hilly with trees- it would feel different. We've made some friends and found activities that we enjoy. I know I can't expect it to be the same as friends that I had 5 years to get to know.
On the other hand, I love that we are closer to family now, making it significantly easier to travel to see them. Dillon loves that she's closer to her cousins & can't wait to do more sleepovers. For a host of reasons, it simply feels easier being closer.
Dillon has gone to her second session with the play therapist. I know they played something called unicorn land, but nothing else. She hasn't offered to share more than that and I'm not pushing her to do so. The therapist is supposed to email me this week with her thoughts. Do I share this newest agonizing monkey wrench into Dillon's already difficult adjustment? Maybe I should go see her myself!
It's entirely feasible that things will be worked out at the hospital and we'll ultimately decide that this is a good place for us. Indecision is so difficult.
Anyone have a spare crystal ball I can borrow?