Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Grocery stores

It's happened twice now- compliments in the grocery store. Today, we were in line & Dillon wanted to go over to an area that she's gotten to play the last couple of weeks as I checked out. We were in a different line today, too far away from that area. Of course, she got upset as I stopped her from going where she wanted to go. I tried putting her in the cart, which, of course just escalated her upsetness. Then I remembered what actually works when she's upset like this- verbalize what she's feeling. I whispered in her ear "You're upset because you want to go over there and I won't let you." Instantly calmer- "Yeah." "And you want me to put you down so you can go." Calmer still- "Yeah" Then I explained in simple terms that it wasn't safe for her to be that far from me in the grocery store, etc. All this happened in just a minute or so with the end result being her sitting calmly in the cart seat. The lady behind me told me that she wished she knew what I was saying. I was a little surprised, since you just expect everyone to be unforgiving of a melting down child. I asked her why & she said "Because it's working." I just smiled and said that we talk a lot. A very similar situation happened a few weeks ago with someone else telling that I handled an upset Dillon really well. I just wish it was the first thing I thought to do instead of something I have to remember. Often it is, but not always.

It's so interesting, these random compliments. You really do expect everyone to be unforgiving. Parenthood is such a tough thing and society expects kids to be seen and not heard- especially in public places. So for someone to compliment you on your handling of child's very realistic, but not publically desirable behavior is refreshing to say the least. It also really makes your day.

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