5 months old

So I'm a little late posting this. Just been feeling a little stretched thin lately, so I'm doing my best.

Here she is at 5 months. She's very sweet and smiley, though either has a bit of a cold right now or is teething since she's been a real grumpy bear today complete with runny nose and drool.

She's figured out how to roll herself from back to stomach and can occasionally go back to her back, but mostly she prefers to roll to her stomach then lay there and fuss because she doesn't like being on her belly :) She's really watching me when I eat and even tries to grab for things, though I'd still like to hold off on solids a bit longer.

She still hates the car seat but adores her big sister. Dillon can get a laugh out of her faster than anyone can. Of course, Dillon loves this!

The moving trees are no longer entertaining her, so that's it for now.

Mastitis again

Yep, again. No surprise with how stressful life has been lately. Still, it's no fun feeling like you've been hit by a truck, especially when your house is 80 degrees and the thought of using a hot pack just makes you feel worse.

This too shall pass...this too shall pass...

To my mom

You are one of the most generous people I know. I cannot possibly express my appreciation enough for your presence over the last week and a half. I don't know how we would've done it without you. You made a stressful time doable and we are deeply grateful.

Home again

We're home again. Watchful waiting on the lump at her incision, but we can do that at home. Thankfully, there are no signs of infection. I'm tired-emotionally drained, as well as semi-sleepless. The pedi floor is a lot noisier than the pedi ICU was, so a nap is in order today.

Back in the hospital

The area with the fluid increased & became painful, so we're back in the hospital. She's feeling pretty good- no fevers, no signs of infection by lab work. We'll get to see the surgeon who operated on her (whom I love!)and they may do an MRI tomorrow.

How very not fun.

A small complication

We had to make a trip to the ER last night when my mom noticed a small lump at the top of Corryn's incision. So, instead of Dave spending the evening attending the graduation dinner put on by his residency program (even though he still has 6 weeks of residency left...), we spent it in the ER. She has a small cerebral spinal fluid leak- the most common complication after this surgery. So, it's back to having to be horizontal to let gravity help us in keeping it from leaking further. We're to follow up with the surgeon on Monday. Thankfully she didn't have to be sedated again for another MRI, since all the people we most trusted to do this were at the graduation dinner. But, if it continues to leak, she'll have to go back to surgery to fix the leak.

Ugh.

Home

Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhh....

What a relief- we're home! All is well. With the exception of the incredibly bland food, I have nothing but praise for our whole experiece, given the fact it was surgery on my infant. The pre-op staff was wonderful- a nurses's aide got Corryn to sleep by walking her around before her surgery, so she went back to the OR asleep. That was such a blessing for me. We had lots of visitors which really helped pass the time quickly. We got several pages during the surgery with "things are going well" kinds of updates. The ICU staff was great- her assessment one morning was notable for being "Cute, cute, cute!"

And above all else Corryn is doing great. It feels like a weight has been lifted off of all of us.

A quick update

Just wanted to post a quick update- surgery went beautifully, she's been nursing great since the surgery, only required a couple of doses of IV pain meds, now doing well with just tylenol & ibuprofen. IV's are out, catheter is out, she looks just wonderful- smiling and laughing! We'll still be here through tomorrow since she's still got to stay horizontal through then, but the plan is to go home tomorrow. Dillon had some trouble being away from me overnight, but seems to be OK now.

Thanks to all for thoughts and prayers- it is such a relief to be mostly through this!

On the eve of her surgery...

Just a picture.

Isn't she cute?

She actually let me take her picture today!

Warm day today. Dillon went to a friend's house for a while while I took Corryn with me to a court appearance I had to make for a friend. Another friend took care of Corryn there at the courthouse while I testified, but poor baby ended up with 3 nasty black fly bites, including one on her eyelid. Stupid black flies.

Wednesday (the surgery day) looms ever closer....

Surgery looms

Our pre-op appointment is today with the neurosurgeon. I can't be in denial today.

I like denial better than thinking about surgery on my infant.

It's all about perspective

Yesterday was one of those days that tests your sanity as a parent. You know the ones in which you're sure that you're raising a kid you're that you're going to end up bailing out of jail one day- the ones in which flashbacks to the days that you only had a high maintainence dog to take care of make you smile nostagically. Everything was a test. Sticking muddy shoes on our legs repeatedly, wearing clothes entirely too warm for the day (didn't actually pick that battle), waving her soaking wet sleeves around so that water splashed all over me and her finally asleep sister. Wailing dramatically for every perceived injustice ("that chair made me fall out of it!!!""), then wailing more when no one really bought into the drama.

Then I check my email this morning to find an email from a friend directing me to this blog entry in which a mother is writing a letter to her daughter on her 18th birthday. That daughter sounds so very much like Dillon- minus the climibing to the top of the fridge to eat bananas part. It was a wonderful reminder that, as she makes the point, the qualities of thinking for herself and following her own path are not qualities that one develops suddenly as an adult- they are cultivated from childhood. Granted, they are much less polished in childhood, but this is where they start. I see passion and determination in Dillon. I see a person that is not going to do things just because other people are doing them- or even because someone else (including her parents) thinks she should. I see that quality of being able to think for herself that we as her parents want so much for her to have.

I'll admit, sometimes I do wish for that "good" kid- the one that obeys when I say to stop doing something that's annoying. Or worse yet, just not socially acceptable, but not otherwise harmful in any way. I sometimes wish she wasn't so persistent as to fight me every night for 3 years to brush her teeth. And sometimes I really, really do wish for an off button for all those questions. But mostly, when I can look at things outside of the moment, I can give those qualities some perspective, compare them to those same qualities she shares with her dad (proof they can be polished...) and understand that they will serve her well in life. She will be someone that can chose an unconventional path- much like her father (med school at 30 after flunking out of college at 21?!!!) and make it work for her.

I just pray I survive it.